Brain Injury Association of York Region

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TBI Survivor Blog Series 2022 - You didn't fall apart… maybe you did… but only temporarily…

Photo by France Theriault

You Didn't Fall Apart… Maybe You Did… But Only Temporarily…

When all of sudden a Traumatic Brain Injury or an Acquired Brain Injury knocks at your door you are never ever ready for the unfolding multiple challenges that come from these invisible injuries.

You feel broken inside out, you can barely recognize yourself as your brain is in so much turmoil. Your neural pathways seem all tangled up,  some of them are not firing up or are simply overstimulated by noise, light, stress and other circumstances you are trying to make sense of.

Your life seems projected in front of you and you feel like you are a spectator looking at it with complete detachment and disbelief.

In the healing journey, we often feel we have been put to test over and over again. Learning to slow down, learning to ask for help- good by independence and most importantly learning to let go of who we were before the tragedy is some of the greater challenges we experienced at some point in our recovery process.

The invitations are numerous.

Learning to retrain our brain to accomplish simple tasks like making breakfast, getting dressed, having a conversation, and deciding what to prioritize while physical pains or our emotional state is like a rollercoaster is exhausting. Learning to hope you will eventually one day be better and well. Learning to trust yourself, I must confess was certainly one of the arduous assignments. How can you trust yourself when your brain software is glitching, constantly in panic mode or permanently in indecisiveness? Learning to be courageous over the unfolding days, months and years after the cycling accident and facing adversity that seems insurmountable helped me to develop grit, resilience, empathy and compassion. 

Tell me dear ones… What are some of your learnings? 

I am curious to learn more about them?

One of the unexpected gifts I found in this process despite the ebbs and flows in the journey was being able to find beauty all around me. Beauty is everywhere I discovered. In stillness, contemplation, and living at a slower pace, I became aware of things I never noticed before. My beauty alertness became amplified. What an amazing gift to possess and share with others. Being able to notice the tiniest miracles like nature’s organic masterpiece.

We were put to the test and we didn’t fall apart. We bravely rise slowly collecting the pieces and reinventing a new version of ourselves. We became wiser, stronger and kinder…

We most certainly realized the uncertainty of life, the fragility of our existence in this splendid adventure called life.

We understand we have been saved for something better, greater but before arriving there we have many more tests to perform again and again.

We are not broken, definitely not broken dear ones.

“One small crack doesn’t mean you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” Linda Poindexter

*You can follow me on Instagram at Standingbyyourside65 where I share stories, sharing insights about living a beautiful life & meaningful life 9 years after having a Traumatic Brain Injury from a cycling accident.

France Theriault